Alexander Stewart - if you only knew

I've been tryin' so hard to survive
Sometimes I think that I wanna die
I feel so f*cking guilty 'cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life
So I keep all the pain to myself
Losin' faith but nobody can tell
Mom I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me
So I pretend I'm fine

If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the sh*t my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry but I need you, oh
If you only knew